I Don’t Feel Fully Recovered – Should I?

One of the first things that I was told by my therapist when I began therapy, was that eating disorders are like an iceberg. Just like we only see the tip of an iceberg, others only see a tip of your eating disorder.

This is something I have to remind myself every day. A common misconception about eating disorders is that you have to be “thin”. In reality, it doesn’t matter how you look. Eating disorders aren’t that simple. But others may think so.

It was hard for me to gain weight. Not only was it hard for me to see myself physically change, but it was also hard mentally. I felt like I didn’t deserve to receive help because I was too “big”. I felt that people wouldn’t take me seriously because I didn’t fit the stereotypical image of someone with an eating disorder.

I feel that I’ve come to that part in recovery where I don’t know where to go. I know that I’ve accomplished so much but at the same time I also have so much to work on. Everyone thinks that I’m recovered but am I?

This is when the iceberg metaphor comes into play. Eating disorders aren’t fully about food. It’s not just getting yourself just healthy physically but mentally as well. You have to remember that they are both just as important.

Recovery isn’t a straight path just like many things. There are so many factors that contribute to feeling “recovered”. There isn’t a right way to face recovery. Everyone’s path is different. Everyone has different struggles, different enemies, and different feats as well.

But I promise you that it’s a path worth taking.

Photo by Milan Popovic on Unsplash

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